Year ago, I stopped by my aunt's house on my way home from the University of Alabama. My aunt's elderly mother-in-law was with her and told her I had just driven in from Tuscaloosa. Miss Mac's eyebrows raised, and Aunt Pat started to laugh, knowing that the older lady has misinterpreted the reason for my time in Tuscaloosa.
When I was young, it was common for kids to tease others by throwing up the locations of Alabama's state mental hospital, Bryce in Tuscaloosa, and Georgia's state mental hospital at Milledgeville. As an adult, I wonder how those kids knew of these facilities. Perhaps because someone they knew had spent time in one of them? Society's awareness of mental health issues and our ability to treat them have advanced tremendously since the mid-1800s when states established state hospitals for those afflicted with mental illness. However, in our churches, the issue of mental illness still carries a powerfully negative stigma. Zelia Baugh, executive director of psychiatric services for Baptist Health System in Birmingham, said, “There is still a societal stigma when you have a mental illness diagnosis. People don’t want to have mental illness or the stigma associated with it so they want to deny it or treat it on their own.” (emphasis added) What a true statement. No one asks for mental illness to be part of their life experience. And it can be very hard to be honest about the struggle, especially among families of faith. Baugh noted that the stigma of mental illness can be especially strong in churches, where pastors are reluctant to talk about it and families fear the judgment of others if they are open about their struggle. “If you’ve got diabetes, cancer or heart disease everybody’s all about making sure that people are praying for you so you have an instant support system,” Baugh said. “It’s very different when you are talking about mental health issues.” As disciples of Christ, our first call is to love--Love God and love our neighbors. Loving those affected by mental illness is hard, but as believers, we aren't called to the easy life. How can we love those afflicted by mental illness? Here are some tips from Steve Trader of Pathways Christian Counseling: Tips for Those Who Have Family, Friends with Mental Illness May we all be more compassionate to those who suffer and love them as Christ loves us. On Monday I wrote about our family's goal of visiting all 50 states. I've discovered many families who are pursuing the same goal, including Alisa Abecassis, who chronicles her family's road trips at www.exploreall50.com. Alisa has great suggestions for planning trips and for things to do while on the road. She even includes road trip themes and soundtracks for the journey!
I'm so excited that Alisa has included a profile of our family in her most recent newsletter. Click here to read the profile, and while you're at Alisa's site, check out some of her tips. Maybe you will be inspired to look outside the box for your family's next great vacation! A few years ago, my husband decided we should buy a camper. I wasn't entirely thrilled with the idea. To make a long story, short: he shopped, we bought a used camper, the babies jangled the metal window blinds every night we spent in it, we traded the first camper for a newer model with cloth window shades, and I have been sold out on the joys of camping ever since. Camping introduced many new loves to me (more about those in other posts), and our "hotel room on wheels" opened the door to a family goal. We would visit 48 states prior to our oldest child's high school graduation and reward high school graduations with trips to Alaska and Hawaii. It has been a terrific goal. We've been to 33 states so far and have a very cool map on our camper to track our adventures (much like the one posted here). But since our children have reached their 'tween years, a fog has settled in over our field of dreams. The goalpost is harder to see. Activities, finances, and responsibilities are making it harder to plan our next road trip. I'm unhappy about that. I want to look at some maps, book a few nights at a campground, and make some plans. Our summer road trips have provided some great memories and long, uninterrupted family time--time I crave to spend with my husband and children, seeing the beauty and diversity of God's creation. It makes me incredibly sad to think we may not reach our goal to "See All 50." King Solomon knew the desire to make plans as well. Failing to plan, he warns, leads to "poverty" (Proverbs 6:11), but "the plans of the diligent lead to profit” (Proverbs 21:5). In his heart, Solomon also knew the truth about planning that we often overlook: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). Lately it seems most of my steps are concealed in the fog. My heart wants answers to the big picture, long-term, lasting impact kinds of questions--answers that just aren't there. So I press on, even though the goalpost seems to keep moving, trusting that God's will for my life is better than any plan I can imagine. I pray to love His desires for my family and for me more than my own. And I pray that in the meantime, I will make more of each precious moment I am privileged to spend with the people I love because in the end, if I don't have love, I have nothing at all. Author's Note: "Hands Free Mama" Rachel Macy Stafford offers some great encouragement for busy parents. Visit her website at www.handsfreemama.com. (This article first appeared in The Alabama Baptist newspaper. Click here for the original article.) When my daughter was 3, our babysitter decided to return to her corporate job, leaving us with 2 weeks to find a new sitter. God quickly opened the door to a new sitter where my daughter made friends who would be with her all the years of elementary school. Working parents face tough decisions when it comes to child care. Grandparents or other relatives often help out. Daycare is another option. However, even when kids start school, parents are not freed from the childcare dilemma, often seeking quality care for the time before or after school. To meet this growing need for afterschool care, many Alabama Baptist churches are opening their doors to students and providing a much-needed ministry to their communities. But in many communities, there are no few if any good options for kids and their parents. What has been your most significant daycare dilemma? Was it while your kids were preschool aged or have the challenges increased as they've gotten older? Has your church or another church in your community helped your family? I would love to hear your story. Several years ago, my husband became the librarian at an elementary school. The previous librarian had just retired after 30 years of teaching, many of those in the library. Over the years, the librarian had gotten quite possessive of the books in the library. She liked the neatness of the shelves. She liked all the books in perfect order. She didn't really want anyone to touch the books. The students saw the library very differently. They also saw the library as belonging to them. But the students were not usually neat. They did not prioritize the Dewey Decimal System. In fact, they wanted to take books off the shelves. Sometimes they decided the first book they chose was not the one they wanted, so they pulled another off the shelf. You get the picture. The librarian's vision of the library and the students' vision of the library were very different. I wonder if church leadership can sometimes be a little like the old librarian. We like the neatness of our worship. We like the order, the predictability. We don't want anyone to touch our worship service. And in trying to protect the service, to maintain the order and the neatness, we exclude the young. We are inconvenienced by their enthusiasm. We refuse their eager service because it will take too much time and effort to include them in worship. We keep them away from the instruments--too expensive. We turn them away when they want to help with the offering--too risky. We don't ask them to read a Scripture or say a prayer--too unpredictable. And in turning the young people away, we are risking the very future of our churches. We assume they will be willing to wait until we are ready to hand over control. But what if they aren't? What if someone or something offers them a chance to use their gifts? God chose Samuel, David, Jeremiah, Daniel, and Mary. He chose them all in their youth for important tasks that lasted their entire lifetimes. He didn't choose them for a special Sunday once a year and then ask them to take a seat until the next designated youth day rolled around. It's our job, as parents and as church leaders to lead our children and to prepare them to lead. The effort may be expensive, risky, and unpredictable, but so is the future of our churches if we fail to "train up" our children when they are young. Does your church have a "hands-off" approach when it comes to involving children and youth in worship? What ways does your church intentionally involve young people in worship? I would love to hear from you! |
About MeI am a regular contributor to The Alabama Baptist newspaper, and I also write and edit for several religious, business and educational outlets through my business, McWhorter Media and Marketing.
One of the greatest privileges of being a writer is the opportunity to share the stories of others with a larger audience. I love to do that! Sharing my own stories is much more challenging, though no less important to making sense of the challenges of Faith and Family in everyday life. Thanks for joining me on this journey! Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or suggestions. Contact Carrie If you would like to receive new posts, I invite you to follow me on Twitter @CarrieMcWhorter or use the contact form to send me a newsletter request. Archives
March 2017
Others I'm following...Categories
All
|